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POSTED ON Sept 6, 2023 4:46:06 GMT

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Exhaustion clings to every corner and edge of their posture. The weight of twenty years rests on a body that is suddenly twenty years younger again. Traveling away from route 120 back to Sootopolis felt like a dazey haze. Much of it is stark in their mind—but even then, there are some things they feel as though they are forgetting.[break][break]

Their hand twists anxiously at the empty space on a finger where a ring would normally rest. A compulsive habit built from years of practice and years of innate worry when they look at jayden cross for too long. That is one that Fern does remember, but they don’t speak of it as they find themselves in the haven of their home, Jayden close to their side as he ever is.[break][break]

Neither of them say much of anything at all, really. But it makes sense—how do you start to deconstruct the meaning and intent behind a life that was only a dream?[break][break]

It’s not until they shuck their clothes for a shower that Fern uncovers the rings looped on an old-looking chain that hangs about their neck. Two rings kept safe, kept together, in case battle pulled them apart. It makes their heart ache with something bittersweet as they slip it over their head and let it rest on their bedside table.[break][break]

Cecilia is sprawled by her beloved heater in the living room. One of their polteageist puffs an aromatic mist that clings to the warm condensation of the shower that heats Fern and cooks under their tired skin and into their tired bones. Lavender and earl grey to lull them into the comfort of rest once they finally plummet into their side of the bed with still-damp hair.[break][break]

What they’ve been through temporarily put on hold in favor of their exhaustion. They wait for him to join them, tired eyes following him. Faithfully tracking his movements with a coaxing little murmured “Mischa.”
[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-goodbye galar // set immediately after

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POSTED ON Sept 8, 2023 5:53:10 GMT

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[attr="class","petalbase jaybirdy"]

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[attr="class","star2"] Coming back from a mission is always exhausting.

[break][break] But there is something different about this one in particular. It clings to his bones even long after they've arrived. Jayden is silent in his retreat — but that is normal. He is not a man of many words, and fern delaney knows this. Jayden presses the briefest of kisses to them the second they step into the carpeted comfort of their home, dismissing himself into the shower.

[break][break] By the time that Fern also comes from the shower, Jayden prepares them a set of earl grey tea and lavender, just like they like it, and eventually, time lapses. It's time for bed.

[break][break] The Admin steps into their bedroom first, glancing as Lada and Hesus curl protectively at the foot of the bed. They are especially clingy tonight, as if they can read the unspoken words that waft off of their owner in waves.

[break][break] Jayden removes of his clothes, simply, methodically. He takes his time. It's only when Fern speaks up that Jayden glances back at him from their position on the bed, his hands unbuttoning his shirt still.

[break][break] "Yes?"

[break][break] His eyes haven't caught the rings yet — but it's a matter of time.

[break]

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harper beck

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twenty-nine

august 11

stow-on-side, galar

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forger

rocket admin

6'0 (it's 5'8) height

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POSTED ON Sept 8, 2023 14:23:59 GMT

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The tea prepared for them is an appreciated thing. Something they sip at in an effort to further soothe them as they wander from room to room and further familiarize themself with their space again. There’s a lick of returning power that surges through them despite their fatigue—the return of something missing.[break][break]
All that time, they weren’t sure what had become of Tapu Koko. If in the distance, the deity had departed from them when they found themself incapable of conjuring even a spark. They’re not sure now, and they’re too tired to figure it out. But something feels restored among the things that feel lost.[break][break]
In the back of their mind, they make a note to look for their patron later. It hasn’t shown up, so they think that it must be cross with them for abruptly vanishing.[break][break]
They watch him with tired eyes, slowly following his movements as he prepares for bed as well. Maybe they should just be a little more patient, but the urge is there and so they do no wait. Rather than saying much of anything at all, they continue to look at him and then silently stretch their arms out in quiet request for a hug.[break][break]
Fern isn’t sure what it is that weighs so heavy on their heart right then. Something achingly melancholic like something has been lost. They’re not sure what that is, though. Because the rings on the nightstand tell them that they didn’t lose this. That it is, in fact, even stronger than it was before.[break][break]
If a committed promise like that is anything to go off of, anyway.[break][break]
But they cannot put their thumb on it, and so for that moment, Fern stops trying. They simply want to sleep off this mission and soak up the comfort that Jayden provides them so easily.[break][break]
That their husband provides.
[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-goodbye galar // set immediately after

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jayden

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POSTED ON Sept 13, 2023 7:59:52 GMT

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[attr="class","star2"] They don't answer him, but they don't need to.

[break][break] He and Fern have always been able to communicate through silence, from the first moment they had met, staring across the grocery store aisle and discussing the difference between green and purple grapes. It has been always that way, since the first moment in the laundry room thereafter, expressions that spoke both of suffering and meaning.

[break][break] When they reach out for him, arms open in a silent request for a hug, Jayden has no choice but to accept.

[break][break] He slips into bed beside them, reaching around to pull them into his embrace. Lips brush against their head, kisses pressing soft against their forehead as hands slip up their face and thumbs brush their cheeks.

[break][break] "We're home."

[break][break] But even as he says it, there is an aching feeling in his chest. One that not even he cannot quite displace.

[break][break] Is it because he misses Galar? Or because he misses Ballonea?

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POSTED ON Sept 19, 2023 14:56:52 GMT

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“Home,” they murmur in response, smile weak and relieved.[break][break]
With their face in the cradle of his hands, Fern begins to be some semblance of a return to themself. Who they were before this dream, who they’ve always been. They’re not quite there yet, though.[break][break]
“But it feels like we lost something.” That same ache echoes back in Fern’s chest. Not just him, both of them.[break][break]
Does he feel that loss too? Sharp and keening?[break][break]
Their lip wobbles, though no tears come. Their eyes are dry, and they’re too exhausted to exert much emotion at all. But they can’t dispel the feeling that they can’t comprehend.[break][break]
“I just don’t know what it was. I can’t—“ They remember everything else. Why not this?[break][break]
They look to him for answers, though they’re fairly sure he won’t be able to provide them. But at least they are both here, together. As it always was there. Their arm extends to fumble along the nightstand, closing around the thin chain with its rings.[break][break]
Pulling it to them, they hold it up, fingers tracing them idly. Seeking comfort. Answers. Anything.

[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-goodbye galar // set immediately after

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jayden

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POSTED ON Sept 23, 2023 3:32:23 GMT

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[attr="class","star2"] They speak the words into existence, the very thing that they are both thinking. It is fern delaney's special skill, Jayden thinks, their uncanny ability to find the pieces of him that he cannot even put words to himself.

[break][break] "I can't," Jayden agrees, one hand wrapping around theirs and squeezing tightly.

[break][break] Something in his heart is shifted. He can't tell what, or even why. Fern is in his arms, they are in the safety of their home, and yet. And yet.

[break][break] "Fern?"

[break][break] Confusion flits in his gaze when they shift in bed; Jayden's arms loosen around his arms to allow it, only to be bewildered by the pieces of silver-metal that are offered.

[break][break] "What is that?"

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long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

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POSTED ON Sept 26, 2023 23:53:16 GMT

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“Nothing at all?” That doesn’t make sense to them. They are forgetting something, but not everything. They remember illness. Being plagued for months. Recovery. The sprawl of years and the glow of flowers and mushrooms on the night of their wedding.[break][break]
Everything luminescent and beautiful.[break][break]
They don’t want to pull away from him, but there’s something comforting in the familiar metal. Idly, they had been rubbing the empty spot on their ring finger with their thumb.[break][break]
What is that?[break][break]
They falter, and the chain balls up in their hand. It strikes them–straight through the heart. Because it’s obvious what these are, right? Fern looks at him, eyes confused. “What do you mean? You’re–”[break][break]
This is what they remember, right? It’s not a mistake, these two silver bands looped through the chain. Surely he remembers too, right?[break][break]
...Right?

[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-goodbye galar // set immediately after

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jayden

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POSTED ON Oct 27, 2023 1:01:00 GMT

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[attr="class","star2"] He thinks they are on the same page, or at least he did, until surprise flutters through his partner's face. It traps Jayden in those sea-water eyes, making him feel like a man lost and spinning through ultra space.

[break][break] "I - " What? Had he said something wrong? "Yes?"

[break][break] It's not the exact truth, not really, but it's close enough to it. He doesn't remember anything. Nothing in specific clarity. Just bursts of feeling and emotion. Sometimes, occasionally, he will recall something with a sense of utter deja-vu, as if it's something he should know but doesn't, but the moment he reaches for it, it's spilling out of his fingers like the endless sands of time. Like Mt. Pyre's soot-ash.

[break][break] "Is it different for you?"

[break][break] His brow furrows, concern lighting up his face.

[break][break] "Fern? Are you okay?"

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long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

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POSTED ON Nov 3, 2023 2:42:03 GMT

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He doesn’t remember.[break][break]
Fern’s chest caves in with the blow of it. He says yes, but they can tell. They know he doesn’t remember because he’s so obviously confused by what they hold, what it means. Something so simple and factual, a given in the same way that a heart pumps blood and beats for another person.[break][break]
Except it is not so innate, is it?[break][break]
Their fingers close hard around the chain and the rings that dangle from it. The bands are snapped up into the curl of their palm, hiding them away from view.[break][break]
“Oh, no,” their lungs feel as if they are airless as they shake their head, “no. It’s not different.”[break][break]
A lie, mostly. They do recall quite a lot. There are blurs and gaps, but there are things they remember. Important things.[break][break]
They look too stricken, they realize, and something flits across their face to shadow away the pain bright strickenness. A dazed, smile curls at the corners of their mouth, and in a swift movement, they pluck open the drawer of their nightstand and tuck the foolish keepsake away. Swallow down the watery emotion before they let out a resolute breath.[break][break]
“I’m alright, duck. Just exhausted, that’s all.” The mug of tea cools on the top of the nightstand. But they slide under the weight of familiar old blankets without rushing to drink it down. Absently, they pat the other side for him to join them.[break][break]
“Just tired.”

[break][break]

jayden cross // m: post-goodbye galar // set immediately after

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jayden

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POSTED ON Nov 7, 2023 17:23:31 GMT

[nospaces]

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[attr="class","star2"] It is not the first time that Jayden is left not understanding, and it certainly will not be the last.

[break][break] While Fern is — and will always be — the closest thing to understanding that he will ever feel, there will always be a gaping sense of them that he will never get. A lesson that he has never learned. A truth that he has yet to unfold.

[break][break] Something flickers at their breathless admission, knowing that something is amiss and yet unable to put his finger on it. Jayden's lips press together. But when he tries to think, tries to remember, pain swells into the gaps where understanding should be. His mind is rotten and full of ash, memories that are left disintegrating no matter how much he tries to put them together.

[break][break] So he doesn't.

[break][break] He's too tired, anyway.

[break][break] But he is not too tired to at least be concerned for them. For Fern, always.

[break][break] Jayden follows suit, slipping under the covers. A hand presses against their cheek, eyes bright with concern.

[break][break] "We've had a long day," he murmurs. Lowly, he dips a head to theirs in a kiss. "But we're home."

[break][break] A pause. Then, as if it will make it all better:

[break][break] "And I love you, solnyshko."

[break]

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harper beck

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twenty-nine

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rocket admin

6'0 (it's 5'8) height

long black tulips, born in your blue tints. lemongrass eyelids, smoke in your slick lips.

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